All I wanted was revenge against my husband. I didn’t mean to get involved in this mess I am now but things happened. I didn’t think it would lead to this and even so, I am happy…in a way.
My husband, let’s call him Soji, and I have been married for six and a half years. We haven’t been able to have children. Though all the medical tests and places we visited, informed us we would someday have children, we didn’t.
Now, I also know one of the reasons for our delay is because I have one fallopian tube. The other was damaged when I was much younger. I got pregnant in school. Unfortunately, the fetus began to develop in one of my tubes. It ruptured after three months…I didn’t even know I was pregnant then, until I began to bleed. I have one fallopian tube and my husband is very much aware of it, I told him before we got married.
We were both told that regardless of the fact that I had just one tube, we could still have as many children as we wanted. Women with one tube have children. So when we had a delay in me getting pregnant, you know, I blamed myself for it.
I felt guilty and ashamed and often begged my husband to forgive me because I felt I was the one responsible for us not having children early enough.
But he would tell me not to worry. He would since I had been medically certified to be capable of having children, he would wait until the time was right for us to have children.
But he couldn’t wait.
I began to notice him hiding his phone; going outside to take some calls…some men don’t know how to hide their affairs.
He would come home and throw his clothes in the washing machine. If I asked, he would say, someone spilled tea or coke or something on him at work. Meanwhile, we have a laundry basket. There are other dirty clothes, sometimes he would remember to wash the other clothes, but many times, not.
Then a few months into 2022. He began to tell me he had traveled for work. He is an engineer. At first, I wasn’t suspicious. But you know if you tell the truth all the time, you won’t have to remember what you have said.
His stories began to develop k-leg.
He apparently wasn’t traveling for work as I was soon to find out from his constant absence from home.
He had begun to see one lady called Joyce. That one is a real “ashy.”
She sends her nude photos and very clear photos of her vagina to him. Like inside… some people are sick!
As these things often are, somehow I came to know about it accidentally. You know this phone, this technology is crazy. My husband’s phone is always locked. But when notifications come, like WhatsApp, or SMS or mail, you know, it would flash on the screen of the phone, especially if the phone had been idle for a while. Even if you can’t open it, pull down the notification and you’ll see some of the details of the message.
That’s how I saw the message. It was from one Rachael. I didn’t know of any Rachael but the messages came rapidly and so, I pulled down on the screen to read the message, without opening the phone. The messages were like porn…you know, of sex and …
I found out about his affairs
At that time, my husband was sleeping, it was afternoon. On a Saturday.
Ok. I didn’t ask him who Racheal was, I didn’t even want to know at first but later I just had to know.
Anyway, so apparently he had even moved from one Joyce to Racheal. Joyce and Racheal were quarreling over him, that’s why Racheal was sending porn to him to lure him further away from Joyce…
Listen o.
I can’t tell you how this hurt so much!
So even if he would go around, it’s some useless girls he would run after?
I was badly hurt by what I saw. It was a betrayal because you see, here was a man who told me he was faithful to me, but he was busy moving from lady to lady. That means he was looking for a child outside! Or do you think if any of these girls got pregnant, he would ask them to terminate it? Someone who has no child?
I was hurt more than I expected it to be. I cried many nights.
We had a huge row for many days and when you fight like that, you will say nasty things to one another. He called me names, “…Ashawo, barren woman who wants to stop his destiny…”all kinds. In my outburst, I told him he was impotent or else why wasn’t I pregnant after many years, after all, doctors said I could have children?
I told him he could never have children from those ladies because he was not a man…he slapped me so hard, I fell. After that, he began to punch me, calling me all kinds of names.
Yeah, I know I went overboard but he should never have raised his hands against me. Tell me, was I supposed to pamper him for having girlfriends? Women who were even fighting over him?
Consider my position as well, please!
He beat me and told me never to go through his phone again.
Then I begged him
Things became bad between us and he didn’t even hide his affairs after that. It was as if he was saying, I will have children outside this marriage!
I was miserable for a long time. Would you believe I begged him to stop. I apologized on my knees…he just pushed me away.
I mean, he was the one who cheated in the marriage and yet I am the one begging him.
After a month or so and things hadn’t got better between us, I decided to get revenge by sleeping with someone too!
Yes! If he can do it and get away and not be remorseful, well, so can I!
Frank was willing to be used
Now, my meeting with Frank wasn’t planned but since I had revenge on my mind, I guess, I used him. He too, was very willing.
Who is frank?
I knew Frank before I got married. He is one of those guys who are are interested in you but too shy or afraid to approach you. That is Frank!
There was nothing great between us. Frank also happened to work on the same building I do on the island. Our offices aren’t the same, we just shared the same 12-storey building with other companies. Frank’s firm was one of them. So once in a while, we met either in the lift or on the ground floor.
One day, I worked late.
I often did because after that quarrel with my husband, there was no point rushing home. He wouldn’t be there anyway, so what would I be home doing?
So I worked late. I saw Frank heading to the car park to go home that evening. before that day, I usually took public transport. But that day, I asked Frank if I could hitch a ride. I didn’t even know where he lived. Maybe that evening, he saw something in me, I guess. He told me to hop in…
From me just talking about work, I began to talk about my marriage and began to cry. He offered to take me to a place where I could talk freely…
I needed someone who wouldn’t judge me. He didn’t. That night, we ended up at a hotel on the island!
Frank was also married, so…
You know, at that time, my husband and I hadn’t even had sex for more than 4 months…I mean, this is us looking to have children and yet, no sex!
I got home a few minutes past 11 pm… Frank dropped me home. He lived at Ajah, I lived at Amuwo…so you know he went from one end of town to the other that evening. Even at that time when I got home, my husband wasn’t home!
This annoyed me, I confess but it also made me decide I could also be seeing Frank more.
So, we made Wednesdays and Fridays “outing” days. My husband never asked, even when I volunteered some information, he didn’t care. After work, I would meet Frank at the car park and we would go to our usual place.
We only did this for about 6 weeks before I just couldn’t stomach it anymore. I had become pregnant! At first, I didn’t know. Then I bought a pregnancy kit at HealthPlus and found I was pregnant!
My heart was beating like mad!
First it was, “Ha, I am done for!“
later, it became, “Ha, thank God I am pregnant!“
At first, it was sadness and joy. My husband and I haven’t had sex in months, who would I say got me pregnant? I knew deep within me, I was never going to abort it, abort for where?
I will find a way to get my husband to have sex with me…
Oh, I stopped seeing Frank. In fact, I will never let him know this pregnancy is his. He will never know and my husband, what will knowing about who’s it is do for him?
I feel bad that this is what it has come to but I want a child of my own!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)
