I had to be crude with my headline because I read horrible comments from Nigerians about the Life sentence judgement passed on fake Pastor Feyi Daniels of the iReign Christian Ministry in Lagos on January 26, 2024 by Justice Rahman Oshodi in Lagos State.
For those who have no background to the story, here it is.
The comments section showed us the way we are. Ignorant of the law, victim blaming and shaming in turn, perpetuate the culture of silence.
Some commenters were wondering why “ordinary rape” should attract a life sentence when politicians who have stolen us blind are either given bail options or simply asked to return one-third of the loot they stole-They are completely losing focus here.
Another commenter insisted the women were out to witch-hunt the pastor, saying they must have lured him to rape them-This is a stereotype we must constantly challenge.
Some of the fake bishop’s church members were reported to have said their fake bishop was a victim and that his imprisonment would not stop the work of God. It means that they can not even see that God has no hand in rapists. As for the many pastors like him who have got away with rape, their day will come soon.
Quite a few agreed that the pastor deserved what he got. They believed the survivor’s story and agreed more of this kind of sentencing was needed- Where evidence proves beyond any reasonable doubt, the defendant gets the full wrath of the law.
Having worked for some years with survivors, I know many will remain traumatised for the rest of their lives, especially when they cannot face their perpetrators or call them out. Many times for these survivors, it is never about “witch-hunting” or “disgracing” the perp because the crime has already been done and survivors will never be the same again. It is more often than not about the survivor finding closure, getting to understand why they feel certain ways at certain periods especially when they are triggered.
It is about survivors getting on with other relationships later on in life, sleeping well, eating well, trusting people around them and knowing how to deal with flashbacks and intrusive thoughts that plague their everyday life.
Every time I come across victim-blaming comments on rape issues, I wish the people making these statements experience firsthand what it is to get raped. But here’s the thing, me not being a sexual violence survivor doesn’t mean I can’t empathise with those who are.
I only need to be a human being first. I need to have seen, watched and heard so many survivor stories that I suffer vicarious trauma. I only need to have worked, lived and read report after report of survivors’ stories, and these stories are with us daily. If we choose to open our eyes. They are there in the stories told of uncles that visit our daughters and assault them, they are in the tales of the trusted friend’s brother who took advantage of his sister’s friend and raped her, and they are now prevalent among fake pastors and Imams who in the name of healing from one spiritual ailment or the other rape the women/girls and swear them to silence. They are now common in stories of fathers and their daughters!
They are there, so why are we pretending and saying the survivors who have chosen not to remain silent are lying about being raped?
Society will stigmatise them because they have chosen not to own guilt that isn’t theirs to bear. They are being shamed for a crime they did not bring on themselves.
Those shaming them forget or fail to see that rape is about power. It is about subjugation and inflicting pain and guilt on the victim.
I salute the courage of the women who come forward and hope that many of us will begin to see in these survivors, women and girls, who could have been our sisters, our daughters, our aunties or nieces, and even our mothers. When it comes that close to home, we will choose our comments wisely.
As for fake Bishop Feyi Daniels, since he has a thing for young girls, I hear prison isn’t good for men who rape children.
I hear in prison, some take pride in not being rapists and they find ways to deal with child molesters.
So, I hope he meets his match there.