Should an ex still be in the picture? — Dave Chukwuji

by Editor2
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The Super Bowl halftime show often attracts its share of controversy, spectacle, and cultural moments that drive discussions far beyond the realm of football. This year, Kendrick Lamar’s dynamic performance was no exception. However, it wasn’t only Lamar who captivated the audience—tennis icon Serena Williams unexpectedly joined him for a dance routine that sparked mixed reactions. While some applauded her confidence and stage presence, others were critical of her participation, implying it was a subtle jab at her former partner, rapper Drake.

The incident has reignited a timeless debate: Should an ex still be in the picture after a breakup? And if so, to what extent?

The Super Bowl Moment: Empowerment or Pettiness?

Serena Williams, a 23-time Grand Slam champion, is no stranger to the public eye. Her career has been defined by her dominance on the tennis court, her advocacy for women’s rights, and her unapologetic embrace of her identity. At the Super Bowl, she brought that same energy to the stage, performing a dance routine reminiscent of her controversial Wimbledon celebration in 2018. Back then, her twerking and exuberant moves were criticized as “classless” and “inappropriate” by some, while others defended her right to express herself.

This time, however, the reception was mixed for different reasons. Many viewers applauded Williams for “owning the moment” and showcasing her power and confidence. Yet, others saw her participation in Lamar’s performance as a subtle dig at her ex, Drake. The rapper, who has had a complicated relationship with Williams in the past, was reportedly referenced in Lamar’s lyrics, leading some to speculate that Williams’ appearance was a calculated move.

Political commentator A. Smith took the criticism a step further, suggesting that Williams’ husband, Alexis Ohanian, should divorce her for “still harboring thoughts of her ex.” Smith’s comments, though extreme, tapped into a broader societal discomfort with the idea of exes remaining in each other’s lives.

The Bigger Question: Should an Ex Still Be in the Picture?

The debate over whether an ex should remain in the picture is as old as relationships themselves. Breakups are rarely clean cuts; they often leave behind emotional residue, shared memories, and practical ties that can be difficult to sever. For some, maintaining a connection with an ex is a sign of maturity and mutual respect. For others, it’s a red flag that signals unresolved feelings or boundary issues.

The answer, of course, is not one-size-fits-all. It depends on the nature of the relationship, the reasons for the breakup, and the individuals involved. However, Williams’ Super Bowl moment has brought this question back into the spotlight, prompting us to examine the complexities of post-breakup dynamics.

The Case for Keeping an Ex in the Picture

1. Shared History and Mutual Respect

For many, an ex represents a significant chapter in their life. Whether the relationship lasted months or decades, it’s natural to feel a sense of attachment to someone who played a meaningful role in your journey. Maintaining a cordial relationship with an ex can be a way of honoring that history without rekindling romantic feelings.

In Serena Williams’ case, her past with Drake is well-documented. The two were linked romantically and professionally, with Drake even supporting her at tennis matches. While their relationship may have ended, it’s possible that Williams’ participation in the Super Bowl performance was less about Drake and more about reclaiming her narrative.

2. Practical Ties

In some cases, exes are bound together by practical considerations, such as co-parenting, shared business ventures, or mutual friends. For instance, celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have famously maintained a close relationship after their divorce, prioritizing their children’s well-being over personal grievances.

While Williams and Drake don’t share children or businesses, their overlapping social circles and professional networks make it likely that their paths will cross. In such situations, maintaining a civil relationship can be more beneficial than cutting ties completely.

3. Emotional Closure

For some, staying connected to an ex is a way of achieving emotional closure. Rather than erasing the past, they choose to integrate it into their present, allowing them to move forward without lingering resentment. This approach requires a high level of self-awareness and emotional maturity, but it can be incredibly liberating for those who are able to navigate it successfully.

The Case for Cutting Ties

1. Unresolved Feelings

One of the biggest risks of keeping an ex in the picture is the potential for unresolved feelings to resurface. Even if both parties claim to have moved on, the presence of an ex can stir up old emotions, creating confusion and tension. This is especially true in high-profile relationships, where public scrutiny can amplify personal dynamics.

Critics of Williams’ Super Bowl appearance argue that her participation in a performance that seemingly referenced Drake suggests that she may still be processing their past. While this may or may not be true, it highlights the importance of setting clear boundaries after a breakup.

2. Impact on New Relationships

Another concern is the impact that an ex can have on new relationships. Even if the connection is purely platonic, a current partner may feel threatened or insecure, leading to unnecessary conflict. In extreme cases, like the one suggested by A. Smith, the presence of an ex can even jeopardize a marriage or long-term partnership.

Williams’ husband, Alexis Ohanian, has been supportive of her career and public persona, but it’s possible that her involvement in the Super Bowl performance raised questions about her motivations. While Ohanian has not publicly commented on the matter, the incident serves as a reminder of the delicate balance required when navigating past and present relationships.

3. Moving Forward

For some, cutting ties with an ex is a necessary step in the healing process. By creating distance, they can focus on their own growth and avoid being pulled back into old patterns. This approach is particularly common in cases where the relationship was toxic or emotionally draining.

While Williams and Drake’s relationship doesn’t appear to have been toxic, the public nature of their connection may have made it difficult for them to fully move on. In such cases, creating distance can be a way of reclaiming autonomy and prioritizing personal well-being.

The Role of Society in Shaping Perceptions

The debate over whether an ex should remain in the picture is not just a personal one—it’s also shaped by societal norms and expectations. In a culture that often glorifies romantic love and demonizes breakups, exes are frequently portrayed as either villains or tragic figures. This binary narrative leaves little room for nuance, making it difficult for individuals to navigate post-breakup dynamics in a way that feels authentic to them.

Serena Williams’ Super Bowl moment is a case in point. While some viewers saw her performance as a celebration of empowerment, others interpreted it as a petty dig at her ex. This divergence in perspectives reflects broader societal attitudes toward exes and the roles they should (or shouldn’t) play in our lives.

Conclusion: Redefining the Narrative

At the end of the day, the question of whether an ex should still be in the picture is a deeply personal one. There is no right or wrong answer—only what works best for the individuals involved. For some, like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, maintaining a close relationship with an ex is a testament to their maturity and commitment to their children. For others, cutting ties is a necessary step in the healing process.

As for Serena Williams, her Super Bowl performance may have sparked controversy, but it also served as a reminder of her resilience and ability to command attention on her own terms. Whether her involvement was a nod to her past or simply a celebration of the present, it’s clear that Williams is unafraid to live life on her own terms—exes and all.

In a world where relationships are often scrutinized and judged, perhaps the most important thing we can do is redefine the narrative. Instead of viewing exes as relics of the past, we can see them as part of a larger tapestry that shapes who we are. After all, if life is a picture, with all its milestones and moments photographed, framed, and hung on the wall, perhaps the exes don’t need to be taken down—they just need to be seen in a new light.

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