As I write this article, the “Bolt for Bolt” war between South African and Nigerian Youths is in its second day and is still unfolding. If you are not aware of the trend, let me fill you in. It so happened that after the recent withdrawal from the Miss South Africa beauty pageant by Chidimma Adetshina due to a nationality dispute, some South Africans started ordering Bolt rides in Nigeria and cancelling the rides when the drivers got to the pickup locations just for spite. I don’t know how it leaked to social media but the Nigerians decided to retaliate. They ordered rides in South Africa from Nigeria, went a step further by engaging with the drivers and then cancelled the rides when the drivers got to the pick up locations.
There is no doubt that social media has become a powerful tool for expressing emotions, sharing experiences, and mobilising action. However, it has also become a breeding ground for harmful trends that can escalate tensions between communities. The “Bolt for Bolt” trend is an example of how social media can be used as a medium to call for retaliation against perceived wrongs.
At the heart of the trend lies a dangerous assumption: that responding to harm with more harm will somehow achieve justice or balance. However, history and human experience have shown that this mindset only perpetuates a cycle of violence and hatred. Retaliation often feels good after all there is justification for it, but it never settles a problem nor addresses the root cause of problems, instead, it fuels further animosity and mistrust between individuals or communities. It turns couples, friends, family and neighbors into enemies and creates an environment where fear and suspicion thrive. In the end, no one really wins in a battle of retaliation—everyone loses something, whether it is peace of mind, relationships, assets or lives.
Some might say that retaliation shows the aggressor that they are not people to be trifled with or walk overs and that it limits the chances of a further attack on them. But history has shown that in most cases if someone backs down from a violent confrontation it is mostly because they realise they cannot win that particular battle and want to live to fight another day or to gather more ammunition to retaliate. Even if they walk away and remain quiet for years, they never ever forgive nor forget the wrong.
I remember speaking to a woman who sought my advice over her pending divorce. She had been unfairly treated in the marriage and had suppressed all her anger and resentment towards her husband, when he filed for divorce, she felt justified in her stance in not compromising on her conditions for the divorce as a way of getting back at him (He needed her cooperation for professional reasons). I did not try to stop her from taking her pound of flesh because I understood how she felt but told her that in taking her satisfaction she should make sure that she did not evolve into the person whom she now hated because retaliation makes one blind to everything but the desire to hurt someone and make them pay for the hurt. When she told me she would never marry again I was quick to shut her up because she was using her one experience to cast aspersions on all men and hold the whole gender responsible for the actions of her husband.
When people can’t effectively retaliate against their aggressors because of several reasons like they being more powerful, connected or even distant from them, they resort to collective blame which punishes innocent people for actions they did not commit and further entrenching divisions and stoking resentment. In this instance, the scapegoats in the “Bolt for Bolt” trend are the drivers in both countries who have lost their means of livelihood and wasted their time and resources for the period the trend continues due to no fault of theirs.
Blaming an entire community for the misdeeds of one or a few individuals ignores the diversity within that group. It assumes a uniformity of thought and behaviour that simply does not exist. Communities are made up of individuals with different values, beliefs and actions. By painting everyone with the same brush, we overlook the many members of that community who are nothing like what we think and who may also be actively opposing the harmful actions of the people in question.
Instead of responding to evil with more evil, a more constructive approach is to practice restraint and engage in dialogue. Restraint does not mean passivity or acceptance of wrongdoing; rather, it is a conscious decision to break the cycle of retaliation and seek more peaceful resolutions. By choosing not to retaliate, we show strength and maturity, setting a positive example for others to follow. I agree though, that in order to effectively dialogue the other person(s) involved must be reasonable enough so that there is a meeting of minds.
Open, honest conversations between aggrieved parties can help to clarify misunderstandings, address grievances, and find common ground. While it may not be easy to initiate dialogue in the heat of anger or hurt, it is often the only way to truly resolve the underlying issues and prevent future conflicts.
In a world that is increasingly interconnected, it is more important than ever to resist the temptation to respond to harm with harm. The “Bolt for Bolt” mentality may provide a temporary sense of satisfaction, but it ultimately leads to more pain and division especially on the innocent soul. In relationships, the innocent souls are mostly children who are weaponized by their parents against one another.
We need to begin to strive to understand the complexities of each situation and people and recognize that the actions of a few do not define the whole and that most often in seeking retaliation we end up hurting ourselves. The immediate fall outs of this recent war- payment of cancelled trips in South Africa, spending data in calling and canceling the ride and there is the very real possibility that it all could end in xenophobia attacks on Nigerians in South Africa leading to needless deaths and destruction of properties.
Let me say that I am not advocating that evil or injustice should go unpunished. God has left retribution in the hands of the government and works through them to exact justice for every injustice. Rather than exert ourselves by seeking retaliation and collective blame and in the process lose our eyes, hands and things precious to us, let’s make attempts at reconciliation and judge individuals by their own actions, not by the actions of others who happen to share their gender, ethnicity, nationality, or religion.
The “Bolt for Bolt” trend on social media is a dangerous reflection of a deeper human tendency to respond to harm with more harm and to blame entire communities for the actions of a few and it should not be encouraged (though it’s indeed difficult not to do so as we all like to flex and show off as to which nation is stronger).
As I finish this article, I read on X that Bolt and Uber have shut down the app in South Africa, drivers are home, and people are walking to their destinations in frustration, buttressing the point that collective blame and retaliation are more harmful to us than others.
Last to do too dey pain.