I am no longer a great fan of reality shows. These days, they bore me. We all know they are scripted, otherwise we will not be so hooked. And so it was that a few years ago, I came across TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé, because of a video someone shared.
It was the wedding video between a young Nigerian man named Michael and his much older bride, Angela Deem, a white American woman.
In the video, Angela did not respond to the priest’s “…to love and to obey…”
She went like, “…to what and obey who?
“Obey what?”
She flatly refused to repeat the marital vows when it came to love and obey.
When I saw that TLC tagged video, I assumed it was role playing, scripted to make us all have a second look, share the video and get as many eyeballs as necessary.
The couple in the video are quite popular in reality tv circles. Michael and Angela met in 2018 on season 2 of 90 Day Fiancé on TLC; which should have told people like me that the goal of it all is to get them married in 90 days. They got married and paid visits to each other’s countries. The televised romance has plenty of drama.
I watched a few more videos on Angela and Michael and got bored afterwards. Their reality for me appeared fraudulent.
It was “Bullsit!” Like my Ibadan brothers would say.
I mean, when you see the wedding photo of an elderly white woman and a young Nigerian man…haba, you don’t need to borrow a brain to gerrit. You just know!
But apparently, Angela and Michael believed enough in their union for Angela to finally “relocate” Michael to the US two months ago after being married since 2020. Or maybe the show runners at TLC thought they should make progress after sponsoring their marriage. Living apart for two years was getting stale.
Well, then, February 23, 2024, Angela Deem popped up on one of my social platforms…she had posted a cryptic message – “My Husband Michael Ilesanmi Has Disappeared After I Relocated Him to The United States”
Huh? They were truly married?
I scrolled on X and YouTube and caught up with a few videos on the drama between the two unlikely bedfellows.
However, after Angela’s message about the allegedly missing husband, my thought was, what part of, “this is all for a show,” did Angela miss?
Then, I read Angela’s post again, “…disappeared after I relocated him…” this is a woman shaming her husband already. She did him a favour by “marrying him and relocating him” and now he has disappeared.
Reading comments on the post, I saw many Nigerians saying Michael japa-ed, seeing that this was his main plan from day 1. He finally relocated to the United States and waka, to put it in local parlance.
But why did he just run? He did not even wait to settle and study his environment before jumping ship?
Well, if you have watched a few episodes of the show, you will know Angela is no pushover, she is a woman in charge of things and she has demonstrated on TV tendencies that have made more than a few audiences wonder about the domestic abuse she metes out to her husband for everyone to see.
I checked to see comments about her attitude towards Michael in past episodes and it is obvious she had been abusive towards him, live on tv. Many viewers in the past had expressed shock at the show enabling domestic violence against Michael. Many wondered if the slaps and verbal abuse Angela often dishes at her husband would have been aired if the abuse had come from Michael.
So, maybe Michael had bided his time.
He took the abuse from Angela.
He took the insults.
He took the humiliation Angela freely delivered and waited to get to the US where he had either been informed, researched or found out that claims of domestic violence in whatever form could potentially protect him from Angela and help him remain on US soil, especially if it can be proven.
Well, thanks to TLC, Michael’s abuse has been well documented and watched by all!
Was it for show that Angela splattered cake on Michael’s face and reduced him to tears?
Was it for show that she repeatedly hit him and humiliated him?
Was it for the show that she vandalised his car, and shamed him in public and for the world to see?
Maybe she went off script when she repeatedly swore at him, calling him names.
While some people have called Michael mumu for being at the receiving end of a woman who is so obviously way above him in terms of …in terms of everything really; age, influence, money. We didn’t get why he put up with it.
And that is often the case with many women too who are clearly in abusive marriages/relationships but remain. It is something we must never judge. Everyone has a reason for staying.
Could be that Michael was in it for love! Nah, even I doubt that. Angela had accused him on the show of cheating against her with a younger woman…(is that so?)
Love or not, green card or japa, no one in a relationship should feel constantly devalued, undermined, put down and abused in public or private all in the name of marriage.
This is the whole point of my discourse.
If you think you are the alpha and the omega of your spouse/partner and you constantly put them down because you know they would not risk losing all that you provide for them, know this, they will leave you!
They will leave you on their terms.
And this is exactly what has happened to Angela Deem. Michael has notified the police of his location. It means he is not missing. He is reported to have said he ran away because he was in fear of his life. The police have been asked not to reveal his location to Angela.
So all that rant about Michael missing was Angela’s show, not for TLC.
Angela did not get the memo that the script had changed.
But I know Angela will find herself a new lover.
There are many young black boys who want the life she has to offer, abuse or not and preferably they would want it off camera.
Yep, Angela will soon have another young black stud eating out of her hands, once you go black…