Top Stories with Uzoma

Make una clear road, the people don talk – Buhari

President Muhammadu Buhari has said results of 2019 elections clearly reflected the interest of Nigerians. Having received the mandate for a second term he said he will not disappoint the people.

Buhari, according to a statement by the Special Adviser on Media and Publicity, Femi Adesina, made the remark while receiving the Buhari Support Group Centre led by the Director-General, Alhaji Umaru Dembo, at the State House, Abuja.

“The 2019 elections are behind us. Nigerians have spoken, and they have spoken loudly in our favour. It is now time to serve them, and serve well. We will not fail,” Buhari said.

Mtcheeww. As if the first term wasn’t a failure sef.

Saraki’s investigation: Atiku faults EFCC

Former Nigerian vice president Atiku Abubakar has alleged that President Muhammadu Buhari’s administration was using the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) to persecute political opponents particularly immediate past Senate president Bukola Saraki.

“I believe it is wrong to use the instruments of state to persecute political opponents,” Atiku said in a Facebook post.

Atiku, who contested and lost the 2019 presidential election to Buhari, said the revival of cases which the Supreme Court acquitted Saraki of, were indications that Nigeria’s anti-graft agency was functioning as a tool for oppressing government opposition.

And again, I repeat: Saraki, Join APC and all this wahala will be history. Seriously, common sense is not common.

‘Na mumu dey worry PDP’

The National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Adams Oshiomhole, has accused the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) of embarking on illegality by setting up a panel to find out how its members voted in the election of principal officers for the 9th National Assembly.

“The idea of secret ballot is that nobody should know who voted for who,” Oshiomhole said.

“Now, the PDP is going down in history as a party that seeks to investigate how people voted in the secret ballot. That is a gross violation of the most basic principles of democracy regarding secret ballot.”

LOL. Says the Party chairman under whose party the ‘mace runner’ contested. All of una no well.

Obasanjo, the ‘preacher man’

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo has declared that as long as Nigeria continues to mismanage its plurality, the country may not make progress. He also said he knew many Nigerians that wanted to move out of the country because they could not get what they wanted.

Obasanjo said this on Monday at the 9th Toyin Falola Annual International Conference held at Babcock University, Ilishan-Remo, Ogun State.

He said, “You can’t take one and leave the other. You can’t take politics and leave religion, and you can’t take religion and leave politics; they are together; they both affect the welfare and the well-being of all of us as we live. We are so badly handling our diversity that we are losing our identity. As long as we are doing that, we are going nowhere.”

Alright sir. Next!

Of stolen and good orgasms

A brother and half sister stole a vibrator from a sex shop – then moaned it didn’t work properly when the owner named and shamed them.

The pair – who Metro US have chosen not to identify – reportedly snatched the Slippery Wand toy from the Gift Spot adult store in Mobile, Alabama on June 19.

Manager Christina Snider tripled the number of cameras there after a spate of thefts, and quickly posted pictures as well as video of the siblings taking the gadget. They have been banned from the Gift Spot for life. She berated them, saying ‘Stolen orgasms aren’t good orgasms’.

LOL. This world. Why Aunty Christina go dey sell not-working-properly vibrators sef? Doesn’t she have the fear of God?