Top Stories with Uzoma

Sorrow Tears and Blood

In a video that has gone viral, a soldier was seen assaulting a driver on Moloney Street in the Lagos Island area of Lagos.

The soldier, who was identified as Duru, was alleged to have driven against traffic. The soldier was said to have blocked the road and later hit the vehicle of the motorist he assaulted.

A lady who filmed the video and was in the vehicle could be heard crying as the military man beat up the driver. The soldier after brutalising the driver in the car was joined by two others.

Saw the video. Totally distasteful. Animals like that should face the wrath of the law. But will they? No wonder, Nnamdi Kanu christened the country a zoo.

How to know a cow

Uganda’s Minister for Agriculture, Animal Industry and Fisheries, Mr. Vincent Ssempijja, has said that the government would be issuing birth certificates to cows and registering farmers henceforth.

Ssempijja, while speaking at the official opening of the National Agricultural Show at the Source of the Nile grounds in Jinja on Tuesday, said the move was necessary to ensure the traceability of their products and to enable them to benefit from the international market.

“They (international market) want to know where the products are coming from; they have been impounding and banning all consignments from Uganda if they find one box with issues,” Ssempijja said.“You will be registered as a farmer, the cow will be registered, numbered and will have a birth certificate because the importers of our products demand meat for cows aged between 15 to 24 months. So we are going to sell depending on their age.”

LOL. Birth certificate or not, suya is assured.

Thou shall not pay tax

A Christian family who refused to pay income tax because it went “against God’s will” have been ordered to pay more than A$2m (£1.1m $1.4m) to Australia’s tax office.

Rembertus Cornelis Beerepoot and Fanny Alida Beerepoot, of Tasmania, had not paid income tax since 2011. Their farm was seized and sold by their local council in 2017 after they failed to pay seven years-worth of rates.

Ms Beerepoot told the court: “We don’t own anything because we are [God’s].” Mr Beerepoot had argued that the law of God is the “supreme law of this land” and making people pay tax was weakening their dependency on God, an act which was leading to “curses… in the form of droughts and infertility”.

Mtcheew. It’s like these ones did not see the verse in the Bible that preached giving to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s. But I’m sure they saw it. Just that their heads are in the clouds.

Access granted: Iran unlocks next level for its women

Iran’s Football Federation has agreed to allow women to attend upcoming 2022 World Cup qualifiers of their men’s national team but that approval from the government is still needed.

FIFA on Thursday said that a letter from its president Gianni Infantino with a July 15 deadline for progress on the matter “has been answered positively” by Iran Football Chief, Mehdi Taj. “Mr Taj confirmed that the requested access has been approved by the FFIRI Executive Committee and that the matter has been taken up directly with the Minister of Sports and Youth in Iran. This is with a view to ensuring that all relevant approvals are obtained so that women will be able to attend the qualifiers of the FIFA World Cup,” a FIFA spokesperson said.

Women in Iran have been largely banned from entering stadiums since 1981, shortly after the 1979 Islamicrevolution, with ultra-conservative clerics arguing they should not witness frenetic male fans and their pithy slogans. Infantino wants the issue resolved before 2022 qualifiers start in September.

SMH. See wetin we still dey argue for 2019. Shame on us men.

Mikel hangs up his boots

Super Eagles captain Mikel Obi has retired from the national team. He retired following the third-placed finish of the Super Eagles at the 2019 AFCON in Egypt.

Mikel took to his verified Instagram page to make the announcement. Spotting his photo in the national colours, the former Chelsea ace wrote: “My national career started in 2003 under 17 World Cup and I’m grateful for the national team for placing me on the world arena and giving me an opportunity to show my skill and have an incredible national and international career.

“Thank you to all my Nigerian supporters and to my Country for all the trust, support and love you’ve shown me over the past 15 years.”

Chai. Suddenly I feel very old. Clearly remember when Mikel burst onto the scene all young and energetic. I need to go and mar…sorry, make more money.