NIS and their plans for Nigerians
The Nigeria Immigration Service (NIS) has assured those worried by the scarcity of passport booklets that it will clear the backlog of applications for international passport. NIS Comptroller General Mohammad Babandede revealed that the backlog was due to plans by NIS to use new booklets to produce new electronic passports from April. He said: “Unlike the previous ones, this new one is valid for 10 years. The enhanced features of the passport will make it easier for security management…(It) is weather-friendly, International Civil Aviation Organisation (ICAO)-compliant, has polycarbonate technology that eliminates damage, enhanced security features, and will save Nigerians in the diaspora frequent visits to Nigerian Embassy, among others.” Meh. Just talk say una no want make we run leave this country for una.
“Oshiomhole, no statue for you o” – Mazi Rochas
Imo State Governor Rochas Okorocha has, in reference to his suspension and that of his Ogun State counterpart, Ibikunle Amosun, called out All Progressives Congress (APC) National Chairman Adams Oshiomhole for what he termed as “acts of lawlessness”. “Oshiomhole’s idea of party’s supremacy could be the purported suspension of two governors on the platform of the party few days after the presidential and National Assembly elections in which the party did well without any contribution from him,” Okorocha said. “When he [The President] said I am fighting corruption you see it happening. It cannot be the same thing with someone who sold the tickets of the party to the highest bidders.” Ouch! The suspension has really pained our happy governor. Want to know who has more to lose in this matter? Oshiomhole. Why? No statue for him!
Repositioning for Stomach Infrastructure
President Muhammadu Buhari has said that it had taken so long to reposition Nigeria because of alleged 16 years ‘waste of the former Peoples Democratic Party-led administration. The President spoke at a dinner organised by the Youth and Women Campaign Organisation at the Presidential Villa’s Old Banquet Hall in Abuja. The First Lady, Aisha Buhari also had a few words to say: “I wish I can invite 15 million Nigerians that voted for Mr. President to this dinner, but no place can accommodate all. So, let me say thank you and assure you that you made the right choice.” Let me reserve my comment about that sad, old song of “16 years’ waste”. Madam First Lady, an advice: Stop wishing, and just invite us already! Shebi you know a dead Nigerian youth cannot be a lazy Nigerian youth. Biko we need food to be useless in peace.
INEC give Mega Party legover
The Mega Party of Nigeria, Ondo State chapter, said it would drag the Independent National Electoral Commission to court for not including the logo of the party on the ballot sheets that were used for the senatorial election held on February 23, 2019, in Ondo State. The South West Chairman of the party, Mr. Biyi Poroye said: “What happened is a gross violation of voters’ rights and as entrenched in the 1999 Constitution and the 2010 Electoral Act (as amended). We discovered that the logo was missing on the ballot paper, and we made frantic efforts to inform INEC about the development and we were told that necessary action had been taken. But to the surprise of our members and teeming supporters, the party’s logo was not on the ballot papers when we got to the polling centres.” Haba. Who knows, maybe INEC thought it was Lil Kesh’s Logo Benz una dey use. *clears throat*
Indonesian Bulala
In Indonesia’s conservative Aceh province, twelve people were publicly whipped for relations outside marriage, with at least two women unable to walk after the painful punishment. It is the only province in the world’s biggest Muslim-majority country that imposes Islamic law. According to officials, four people were each flogged seven times after being found with a member of the opposite sex who wasn’t a relation. The others — who were caught in more compromising positions — received between 17-25 strokes for having intimate relations outside of marriage. “This law is designed to have a deterrent effect, not only for the offenders but for the spectators who watch the caning,” said the head of the local public order agency, Marwan, who like many Indonesian goes by one name. He added: “The pain of being flogged is not that bad, the embarrassment is worse.” No, I know which is worse: that two consenting adults cannot dance Kerewa in peace! I’m in my house, come and flog me.