The way and manner Pastor Paul Enenche of Dunamis International Gospel Centre, reacted to the testimony of a church member and the explanations and reactions of many Christians to that incident has made me doubly sure of the great role character plays in Christian maturity and why there is such a disparity in the life we profess and how we behave.
I became a Christian sometime in 1989, during the six month university closure by the then military government and unlike all my other conversions in the past, it has lasted for over a period of 35 years. My Christian walk has been characterised by many changes likened to a love affair – I went through a fervent period where I threw away all secular music, books and occasions, sticking strictly to books and music by Christian authors and musicians and going to only Christian occasions. It was a time of immersion into God, when the messages we heard were all about consecration and being in the perfect will of God. It was a time of sacrificial living, of wanting to please God in everything. There was the heady feeling of knowing God and being known by him and thinking that one had a special relationship with God that others didn’t have. A time when knowing and doing his will in the manner laid down by leaders of faith was a consuming desire.
Then came a period of disillusionment, when like a love affair we became somewhat accustomed to one another in a sense and I began to see parts of him I didn’t know or that I thought he had left in the Old Testament. A time when his love, words, reassurance and promises paled in the face of death, sickness, poverty, injustice, betrayal and failed relationships as I wondered why I had to go through them after all I was “special”. A period when I felt betrayed by him because he didn’t come through like I thought he should. A time when even though I went through the liturgy of worship and obeisance on the outside, I was deviant on the inside looking for a way out. I sneered at his words, defied him in little ways as payback for his seeming nonchalance to my plight and when people spoke in glowing terms about him I sniggered in my mind “wait until he tells you that he is God and you can’t question him”. Thankfully, my disillusionment was not so much because of the the actions of elders of the faith not because many did not disappoint but I had never looked up to man for my beliefs and because it was with him and him alone he was able to, in the ways only he can, bring me back to him.
Finally, I got to the place where I am today- a place of quiet and rest, confident in the knowledge that my faith is a private issue between me and God and that neither of us owes anyone but us any explanation about the state and workings of our relationship. It’s a place of knowing that I don’t have to be more than I am for him to love me and that the value he places on my person and our relationship is immense . It’s a place of knowing that he has my back and that he can trust me ( most times) to be who I should be and do what he wants done .
Getting to where I am has been a long and never ending journey but both the journey and the stages have been interesting and illuminating. I have learnt amongst other things :
- That all human beings are very important to God and he doesn’t care about our religions, alliances, affiliations and tribes.
- That we cannot say we love God and hate, abuse and disrespect our fellow men.
- That there is a bit of God in each human being on this earth after all he made us all in his image.
- That character matters to God a lot more than our religious practices and piety.
- That God made all things for us to enjoy and that interacting closely with people who do not share the same beliefs and restricting ourselves from enjoying things such as nature, foods, music, books, films etc purely because they are secular limits us severely.
- That faith is a personal thing and not everyone that professes it publicly, believes it privately.
- We are all imperfect, all of us, and that no matter how long we’ve been in the faith we all have our Achilles heel.
- That God is interested in all areas of our lives and welcomes especially, the unveiling of our uncomely parts to him as we become honest with him and ourselves about who we are.
- That even though we are born again and spiritual, our flesh, emotions, feelings, backgrounds affect us deeply and regulate how we see and live life.
- That one can work miracles and have a heavy anointing and superb spiritual revelations and still be character deficient.
- That only God can convict and change people and our paths are divergent.
- That many of the things we believe are God ordained evolved from cultural and religious practices.
Being a mature Christian is all about having the character of the person we claim to serve and follow. Building character takes time and conscious effort but I must say that it is possible to be old in the faith and be stunted character wise. I have reached the era where flaunting your Christianity in my face makes me wonder and a bit wary of what lies beneath the façade you present. It’s the reason why in the wake of the last two elections both in Nigeria and the United States of America I unfollowed many preachers I had hitherto followed not because of their preferences but because they choose to explain away and even justify the character deficiencies of their choices.
Being matured i0s having the grace to apologize when we find out that we are wrong and not being boldfaced about the reasons why we can’t be blamed about taking the stance we took on issues, after all we are not bigger than God himself who has been said to have repented severally about his actions.
It’s about concentrating on what really matters and understanding that everyone of us is at different stages of growth and that God can and will meet us each where we are and use us where we are at.
It’s about allowing God to fight his battles and deal with people as he seems fit and not threatening, intimidating, coercing and manipulating people all in the name of God.
There is a real difference between religion and faith although similarities abound and it is only when we can distinguish between them both that we can really say that we have found God.
The greatest achievement of the Christian faith should be a changed life and by that I mean character wise. It is not in the building of large auditoriums and a big presence of social media nor in the testimonies of wealth, achievement and even healings anyone can achieve that and maybe that’s why he said by their fruit you shall know them.