Some say it means everything. Others argue it means nothing at all. Some even claim the ancestors would be vexed, predicting negative repercussions for the daughter.
This started when one uncle posted on Facebook…we all dove for it.
Veteran Nollywood actor Fred Amata posted a cryptic comment criticising his ex-wife, Agatha Amata, for denying him the joy of walking their daughter down the aisle—a moment many fathers cherish.
The truth is, the real reason Agatha chose to walk their daughter down the aisle is known only to them. We may never uncover the full story, as Fred’s Facebook post and the accompanying photos suggest there’s much left unsaid.
Firstly, I have no patience for deadbeat fathers. If you accuse your wife of being an adulterer, a wicked woman, or selfish, and you neglect your responsibilities towards your children because of her behaviour, you’re a deadbeat. You have no right to complain on social media, years later that your wife walked your daughter down the aisle instead of you.
Fred claimed he helped Agatha set up Inside Out, asserting it was his brainchild and directional expertise that made the show a must watch. However, he overlooked that the programme continued successfully for years after he left, thanks to Agatha’s efforts, not his.
Starting a business or venture in Nigeria is one thing; sustaining it is another. Agatha managed to run it so well that it became a household name, a feat Fred did not achieve.
If Fred had such great skills, what other ventures or shows has he started since then to prove his capabilities?
This situation reminds me of D’Banj and Don Jazzy. D’Banj had the talent, but Don Jazzy provided the beats that made the talent shine. D’Banj left to pursue greater ambitions but perhaps flew too close to the sun. I often wonder how much greater D’Banj could have been if he had stayed with Don Jazzy, producing multiple hits like Wizkid, Davido, or Burna Boy.
Fred also claimed that his daughter and her fiancé came to seek his blessing. Two points are noteworthy here: the daughter is old enough to make her own decisions, and if she chose to seek his blessing, Agatha likely advised her to do so. Even if Agatha had no part in this father-daughter matter, it’s doubtful she could have influenced their daughter against having her father at the wedding. Afterall, both estranged parents attended their first child’s wedding, so why would this be different?
Clearly, something went wrong after the wine blessing, photos of which Fred posted to show that he was meant to be father of the bride. Something happened that led the daughter to decide her mother should walk her down the aisle, instead. We are unlikely to see those in photos. It’s evident he has some relationship with his daughter, but social media can be deceptive. Maybe those photos are just for show.
Did the daughter tell her father weeks, days or even hours before the day? Did she warn him not to show up at her wedding as her mother would be walking her down the aisle? We saw a seemingly happy daughter and father in the photos Fred posted or is it all for show?
Moreso, the wedding didn’t happen overnight. There must have been days and months of extensive planning and discussions among all parties. Fred must have known he wouldn’t walk his daughter down the aisle because of something we’ll never know.
Anyway, it’s the daughter’s wedding, it’s her show. She is an adult who made her choice, and the gods be damned.
This daughter knows who raised her. She knows who was there for her through thick and thin, and I bet there were more storms than sunshine for a single mother.
Deadbeats won’t understand, even if you explain it to them, so I will not bother.
Those who know—the dedicated fathers and mothers, who despite being separated from their spouses, have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice time, money, energy and sleep—will understand what I’m saying here.
They will recognise those anxious moments when their children fall ill, prompting late-night trips for medical care. They will recall the many days their child was almost sent home from school because, despite paying nearly all the fees, an outstanding balance prevented the child from resuming the next term. Who agonises over these, especially at night when worrying about the next meal or rent or fees prevents the comfort of sleep?
They will remember the countless journeys to and back from their child’s school, facing near-death accidents without ever letting their children know the dangers they encountered. Often, just as they are about to eat, they think of their child in faraway places and wonder, has my child eaten today? And they call to check if they are okay. They borrow, they repay, they borrow again and beg people they have no business talking to…just so their children can be in school or have a roof over their heads.
LOts of times, it may not even be the money, ot may be time spent with the children. Did this uncle spare time to be with the children during their sporting gigs, their cultural days, their PTA meetings, know their favourite games or friends, or books, or even thir talents?
There are many things deadbeats will never understand. They will argue about offending the gods and family. They will bicker about their exes being spiteful thus preventing them from basking in the glory the sacrificing parent had made.
Fred said the royalties from Inside Out should be his contributions to his children’s welfare, how juvenile! He is telling us he contributed nothing financially to his children’s upkeep. I have heard some people say, it’s not all about money, well, try raising a child without money, let’s see how far you go.
Who says it was all rosy for Agatha?
Who says after paying the bills, production, cast, studio and for everything that can go wrong that do go wrong with shows like this, she had enough to pay her rent and feed her children?
Who says over the years, Inside Out just turned into a gold mine without debts to show that sacrifices have been made along the line.
I wish Uncle Fred had just kept quiet. Well, he has never run any business that we know of nor has he run any show we can point at on TV. Anyone who runs a business in Nigeria will tell you that ordinary electricity can crumble your business. If you are unlucky, some staff will steal from you, some will take advantage of the fact that you are a woman and compromise your positions many times over. Clients who have promised you heaven will deliver hell. Your expenses will keep growing and your budget struggles to catch up. Many times, you are in deficit, but you keep plodding on because you know your hard work must pay off someday…and when it does, you have people counting your money for you and telling you how to spend it.
Inside Out must have had its share of troubles and I doubt that Agatha is without her business battle wounds…yet, Fred imagines she was balling through the years.
I honestly wish Uncle Fred had said nothing about this. I wish he had just made an excuse about not being in town for the wedding to save himself from the embarrassment he has caused.
What he revealed showed he lacked understanding of the significant issues, if you had been present in your daughter’s life, you would have had the joy of walking her down the aisle.