I was listening to a friend give a talk sometime back and in response to a question she was asked about how she managed to juggle all her balls, she said that life is about having stability in all things and that her productiveness was as a result of understanding her world and what made it work.
My friend lives a fast-paced life, she juggles a highly demanding job as a bank executive, yet still has time for her home, church activities, health- being somewhat of a fitness freak, is financially savvy and belongs to a number of investment clubs and maintains her social relationships by always showing up for engagements.
I will be the first to agree that finding one’s balance is key to a successful life, however, it is easier said than done and the fact remains that many times in our lives because of the stages of life that we are in or the circumstances we are faced with e.g having a baby, starting a new job or a business, moving to a new country, etc. we may not be able to find that balance for a while.
Having a balanced life is akin to a scale where both sides of the scale are somewhat equal in weight whilst an imbalanced life can be likened to being on a seesaw. We are either up or down but never in the middle of a seesaw and like a seesaw, life never stands still for us so it behoves us to find our balance in the midst of all it’s ups and downs especially given the fact that the lack of balance in one area tends to show up in other areas in our life.
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merto
When we talk about living a balanced life, most times the conversation revolves around finding a balance between one’s work and Life but living a balanced life is much more than finding the work/ Life balance. It’s ensuring that we are wholesome in all the important areas of our lives and that we understand what being in balance means to us as its meaning differs from person to person.
I have noticed that we rarely live a balanced life when growing up as we have a tendency to live life as demanded by whatever stage we are in and that it is usually in adulthood that we attain the equilibrium needed at all times. Thankfully, as we mature, we are able to self correct and make up for some areas in our lives that we may be found wanting, however, at times we may discover that in some areas especially in our health and relationships, we are unable to restore the balance.
So what does it mean to have a balanced life?
1. Mental Attitude. It’s ensuring that we have a good mental attitude, that our thought life is positive, that we are able to keep our emotions in rein, knowing when and how to express and deny them. That we are not enslaved or addicted to anything whether good or bad. That although we have a good self image we are not consumed with ourselves. Finding a balance in our mental mind is, I think the most difficult thing to do and it entails being objective, critical and accepting of one’s self all at the same time. The key to being mentally balanced is being able to harness the power of one’s thought life and putting things in the right perspective, simultaneously affirming one’s self.
2. Spiritual balance. This is very key especially in this clime and in such times as we live in. One thing I have discovered is that religion has the tendency to consume as much time as we give to it. The work is never ending and there is always a need for volunteers. The truth is that, the work of God will go on whether or not we are there to do it and although it is important that we are heavenly conscious, we must also be aware that we are on earth for a purpose, so it is important to pace ourselves and know that there is much more to life and being spiritually conscious than devoting all our time to church activities, prayer meetings and the likes.
3. A Healthy lifestyle. We ignore this very important part of our lives because we tend to take our health for granted. But a few days of sickness will always make us appreciate the involuntary actions our bodies undertake like walking, drinking, sleeping, eating. I am also guilty of being wack in this area but it’s no understatement to say that we must be conscious of what we put in and on our bodies and how we treat it. It is instructive to note that a good diet, exercise and sleep will help to put our bodies in equilibrium.
4. Healthy Relationships- Relationships fall into two categories.( a) acquaintances/colleagues – we all need to have a good relationship and social contact with people that are not related to us, even if we have a good relationship with our family and friends. Being social misfits make us unable to get along with people who don’t know us intimately and will affect our emotional health for the worse as our family can’t always be there for us.
(b) Family/ Friends- woe to him/ her who has no relationships outside of work and casual acquaintances, who has no good close social network, no one to anchor them and serve as their compass, who has no relationship with their children, spouse, siblings or parents. Close social relationships keeps us grounded and anchored through the storms of life.
5. Finances. Money is a very important tool and a lack of it or too much of it can become a problem. It is not a balanced life when we cannot pay our bills or we are always needing credit or loans. To be balanced financially means to have a good relationship with our money wherein it serves our needs and does not control us by dictating that we abuse, ignore or neglect other areas of our life in its pursuit.
6. Work. Whether we work for ourselves or are employed, our work should not be allowed to consume our time, money and resources to the extent that other areas of our lives suffer. It’s very easy, especially for the menfolk to justify excesses in this area as being responsible for our families, however many a time, we discover late in life that sometimes the price is not worth the rewards especially when the victims are our health and relationships.
7. Philanthropy/ Investing in others. This is a very formidable tool in helping us lead balanced lives because it helps understand that life is not all about ourselves and that we should be grateful for what we have and also aspire to do more than we do for others.
Balance, peace, and joy are the fruits of a successful life. It starts with recognizing your talents and finding ways to serve others by using them.” ~Thomas Kinkade
8. Fun. It is true that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and to live a balanced life we just learn how to unwind, enjoy our wealth and resources and indulge in moderation.
Living a balanced life means having your two feet firmly on the ground, not being pulled to the extremes, being assured of one’s place, being well paced, reasonable, objective, not being over committed, drawing boundaries and knowing oneself.
Find your balance and stand with it. Find your song and sing it out. Find your cadence and let it appear like a dance. Find the questions that only you know how to ask and the answers that you are content to not know.” ~ Mary Anne Radmacher