Recently, social media was abuzz with the story of a Lagos businessman who turned 60. What should have been a joyful celebration of life quickly degenerated into a fiasco, captured on camera and replayed endlessly across online timelines.
The drama centred on the celebrant and his two wives—let’s call them the Ladies in Pink and Green. Predictably, the internet rushed to judgement, with most people branding the first wife in Pink as the villain.
But, as with most viral moments, what people saw was only part of the story. This is where I want to begin—with the danger of the single story. I do not know any of the parties involved, but I will attempt to look at the incident from their different perspectives, to highlight why we must be cautious about hasty conclusions.
The Celebrant’s Perspective
His 60th birthday should have been a landmark moment—a time of joy, gratitude, and reflection on a life well lived. He probably envisioned his family gathered in harmony, celebrating him and his achievements.
What he got instead was a public spectacle that exposed the cracks in his household.
The truth is, men in polygamous marriages often underestimate the weight of emotions at play. The celebrant seemed unprepared for the clash of personalities, insecurities, and unspoken grievances that erupted that night. While he was meant to be the star of the occasion, he became little more than a referee in an emotional boxing match.
His silence—and inability to manage both relationships with fairness and sensitivity—laid bare one of the greatest dangers of polygamy: the difficulty of keeping peace and balance when love and loyalty are divided.
Lady Pink’s Perspective
As the first wife, she bore the brunt of the initial social media judgment. In the viral videos, she came across as aggressive and confrontational, and many concluded she was and had a problem. But looking deeper, her story tells us something different.Here’s a woman who had been with the celebrant through the ups and downs of life, raising his children and building his home and then, on what should have been a family celebration, she felt sidelined—pushed aside for the newer wife, who appeared to have taken center stage. Her anger that night was less about theatrics and more about pain—the pain of invisibility, the pain of being replaced. What the world saw as drama was, in reality, a cry for recognition. Yet because only one side of the story made it online, she was vilified while her humanity was ignored until her friends spoke out on her behalf.
Lady Green’s Perspective
She was painted as the glamorous second wife who sought to outshine the first. Social media labeled her as calculating and opportunistic. But her reality, too, was more complex. She had worked to carve out a space for herself , and to prove her love, she reportedly spent heavily to make the birthday a grand affair—even selling property abroad to fund the celebration. That act, which for her was an attempt at belonging and validation, was instead used to reinforce the narrative of competition between her and the first wife. On that night, when tensions spilled over, she reacted defensively. What people interpreted as pride or showmanship was most likely, at its core, a desire to be acknowledged as a legitimate wife.
The Children’s Perspective
Perhaps the most heartbreaking angle is that of the children. They watched their parents—people they looked up to, engage in a public spat that left their family name trending for all the wrong reasons. I am sure they sided with their mother, seeing her hurt and maybe they may have sympathized with the second wife. But all of them, in one way or another, must have been disappointed in their father for failing to prevent the chaos.
I am sure the children learned a painful lesson that night: the fragility of family unity when love is fractured. They also learned how damaging public judgment can be when it reduces a complex family story into a single, sensational headline.
That party is a textbook example of the danger of embracing a single story. The viral clips showed only fragments, not the years of history, the silent sacrifices, or the hidden hurts. Yet from those fragments, conclusions were drawn, reputations shredded, and one woman was cast as the scapegoat. It is an important lesson to us all that we must always be careful not to swallow a single narrative whole because behind every viral video are human beings with layered realities, motives and interests.
Another lesson here is for women. Watching both women square off over the man is a reminder of how destructive it is when women fight each other over men. I will never subscribe to doing so and in my opinion Lady Pink should have walked away when she saw trouble coming and Lady Green should have kept a low profile. The truth is that many times, the man in the middle who should be the object of the women’s anger, sits quietly while the women trade blows—emotional, verbal, or physical. But the real issue is not the other woman; it is the man who has failed to balance his responsibilities with integrity and fairness. Instead of fighting one another, women can choose solidarity and self-preservation. Fighting over a man diminishes both women, while the man escapes accountability.
This story also shines a light on the pitfalls of polygamy. While culturally and religiously accepted in many communities, polygamy is fraught with emotional complexities. It demands a level of fairness, transparency, and maturity that is difficult for most men to sustain. Where there is inequality in attention, resources, or affection, jealousy festers and eventually spills into the open—as it did at the birthday. Polygamy may look manageable from the outside, but it often leaves scars on the women involved and confusion for the children caught in the crossfire.
So what should a woman do if she finds herself in a similar situation—whether as a first wife feeling displaced, or as a second wife yearning for acceptance?
- Protect Your Dignity: No matter the provocation, public confrontations rarely solve the problem. Walking away with dignity often says more than any argument could.
- Communicate Honestly: Speak your pain clearly and directly to your partner never with the other woman, rather than allowing resentment to build or erupt in public.
- Seek Support Systems: Trusted friends, mentors, or counselors can provide perspective and emotional balance. You don’t have to carry the burden alone.
- Prioritize Your Well-Being: Your worth is not tied to a man’s validation. Whether you stay or leave, choose peace of mind and emotional health above all else.
- Set Boundaries: If the relationship becomes toxic or unbearable, it may be time to redefine your role or even walk away entirely.
That birthday fiasco was more than a viral moment; it was a mirror reflecting the dangers of half-told stories, the futility of women fighting over men, and the complications of polygamy. What the world mocked as “wives fighting” was, in reality, a story of hurt, insecurity, longing, and love gone messy. For me, the lessons are clear: never judge a story until you have heard it from every side. Never fight over a man -my worth is not defined by a man’s divided affection and lastly, when faced with such trials, I must choose dignity, peace, and above all, choose myself.