I have lived in this house for about six years now, not too long.
Before I rented the flat; I had gone almost round Lagos and none of what my agent showed me was suitable; I wanted a place with a big compound, where my children could play; I had a five-year-old and a three-year-old. I also wanted one that I wonโt have to deal with nosy neighbours.
So, when my agent after so many weeks of being frustrated at my refusal of all the places he took me to inspect, told me finally found a house he knew it was perfect.
It was. In this Lagos, I got a house that had a side part that had grass and sand my kids could play in; it had its own garage for two cars; and with just two tenants; the other neighbour had his own gate, too; we would never have to meet if we choose not to. It was perfect for me!
There was a caveat, though, the agent said the landlord would not rent to women or single mothers; he said he would arrange a trick meeting between me and the landlord, that I should go plead with him, assuring him I would pay his rent regularly and not default.
So, that day, the day the landlord was visiting the house to check if everything was going on fine; the agent had arranged that I would act like I was driving by, stop and enter and say I had heard it was up for rent.
Well, I met the landlord; he was just about entering his car to leave when I used my car to block the gate. His driver was shocked; but I signaled to him and quickly got out to meet the landlord himself. I was told he was a man in his late 60s at that time, but he looked years younger, he is the type that takes care of himself with fresh skin; he was wearing danshiki and jeans.
I went immediately on my knees and told him I heard the place was up for rent. The man came out of his car, looked at me and told me to get up; he said, yes, it was up for rent but he had an agent. He said, โTell your husband to contact him.โ
I said, โDaddy, I have no husband, I am the one taking care of my children because my husband died six months ago and my-in- laws kicked me outโฆI am a hard working woman with two young children to care for, please help me sir. I can pay because I am not only employed, I have two shops with staffโฆโ
I began to cryโฆcrocodile tears, o
He said, โCan you pay the rent, where do you work?โ
I told him and I showed him my call card and my boutique cardโฆboutiques in Lagos island and another on the mainland and I showed him my driverโs license and even my passport data page sef, just so he knows I was no fraud in the sense of being able to pay his rent.
He called the agent, the same one who โset up the meeting.โ That one too claimed he was in the area and he would be at the house in minutesโฆyi mu. It was all a set up.
My sob story is a lie, though; my husband isnโt dead; he just didnโt like being a husband and father, he left me and relocated abroad but I had to find a story because I wanted that house.
Thatโs how I got the house o.
You know many Lagos Landlords that donโt like giving houses to single women. But the landlord still made me promise him I wonโt be bringing all manner of men into the house, he said the reason he didnโt want to give his house to single women was because it didnโt want his house turned to a brothel.
Anyway, here is the real gist, jare. So, you know, I have boutiques where I sell female clothing. I travel abroad, London, Turkey, Thailand, chinaโฆto buy stuff and I stopped working at the place I told the landlord, just last year because my business was suffering; I needed to be travelling to buy stuff and my work didnโt allow much of that. So I quit and focused on travelling and business.
Now, one day, while in London, I ran into my landlord in the tube; he had all kinds of grocery bags on a London train from Stratford. I gave him my seat and we began to talkโฆwhat are you doing here? Shopping for my store, sir, what are you doing here, sir, holidayโฆ
He invited me to come see his home. You know when you are in London, nobody is doing oga for anybody?
And I was putting up in a bed and breakfast in Lewsham, I didnโt have anything to do, so I followed him.
I helped him carry some of his package home; it was all- yes sir, no sir, really sirโฆlike the good girl I am.
After that, I met my landlord on three other different occasions when I travelled abroad to buy stuff; somehow we jam either on the tube, or shopping mall at Stratford, itโs easy to spot fellow Nigerians in places like that and on each occasion, had either dinner or lunch with him.
Now, my landlord is a widower; he spends six months abroad and six in Nigeria; he lives in three cities; London and Atlanta and Lagos, where he lives with a male relative; who is his driver, sometimes agent, steward, cook et al. I donโt know much about his children, he said he has three boys; all living abroad too. The daughter is the one in Atlanta
So, after the lockdown, landlord who couldnโt travel because of coronavirus, him being elderly and corona strongest in Europe too and America, had decided to cancel travels this year. As you also know this pandemic has affected business, the economyโฆ.So we were outside the house talking about Corona, business, travelโฆI just jokingly said, โHa, daddy, this yearโs rent would be delayed o. I cant travel, no businessโฆ, things are tough, o. Your rent may be late oโ
The man jokingly replied, โโฆthere are other ways to pay for rent apart from the usualโฆโ
โLike how?โ
He laughed.
I said, โDaddy, you who has a house in London and America, you are not travelling, is it me struggling widow that will have money to travel? Where is the business?
The man answered that I could come and stay with him at his Magodo house; that only him and his steward live there; if I wanted, he could arrange itโฆ
Omo since then, baba has been calling me, o, telling me to think about his proposal.
Of course I played along; truth be told, this yearโs rent is one kind, o. All my savings have gone to living expenses during the lockdown and I have been paying half salaries to my staff; I will have to let them off because I canโt cope after this month; who knows what will happen with school fees when schools openโฆno business. People are not buying clothes o. only food. So babaโs offer is looking like a bright idea.
This man is almost 870, o; can he even get it up? Even if he can, my sister, if I remove my clothes for him, he would have a heart attack. See me na; even at 44, I still dey market.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)