Did you see a trending video saying that come September 2023, kids as young as 3-4 years in the UK will receive compulsory lessons on same sex relationships? In fact, a mother is reported to have threatened to pull her child from that school, saying such lessons were “against the will of God.”
A few days ago, I read the story of some students of (Federal Government College) FGC Ijanikin, Lagos state, caught lodging their female counterparts in hotels for sex romps. The students’ ages ranged from 14-17.
Curiosity starts early
Like many adults, I think, the news on the students of FGC Ijanikin didn’t really come as a shock. 14-17 year old students reported to be lodging their female counterparts in hotels for sexual orgies…
It’s not new.
That boarding house students will scale the school’s fence and go to see men outside or go have sex with one another has been with us from time “imo river,” immemorial.
As far back as when I was in boarding school in the 80s, students had been scaling fences. Back as then, I heard some students, especially in the Eastern part of the country, say someone has been “igba set.” Meaning students having long hours of sex among themselves…
Let’s be clear, FGC Ijanikin 14-16 year old students aren’t the only ones having sex orgies.
To my mind, all the secondary schools around the country have their share of “curious children” having sex among themselves.
Only last year we read the one from Chrisland. 4 years ago we read about the Ireti Grammar school boys raping their female counterparts. 3 years back it was 14 year old female students of FGGC Langtang in Plateau state, pimped to men by their gateman. Now, these are the ones that slipped to the media. There are hundreds more happening that we will never get to hear about except in close circles.
The truth?
Our children are having sex whether we want to confront that truth or not! Here’s the weird part, these children aren’t even doing it for money. They are doing it for the love or heck of it! So shouldn’t we be talking to them about condoms now for those already above 10?
No parent I know wants to hear this but whether we like it or not, they will experiment with sex. However, whether this is a negligence from the parents, teachers, school…is still hard to determine because we are not going to be everywhere they go, be with everyone they meet, shield them from every device they connect to.
Let’s demystify sex.
It shouldn’t be shrouded in mystery. If schools are already teaching our children to be accepting of other sexual orientations, why aren’t we talking about sex with them already?
Sex should not be so hallowed, especially now as children are easily exposed to it, with phones and the internet.
If they have to hide it, then its a sign it is wrong.
My advice?
Let your children know sex it isn’t something bad people do but bad when an adult persuades them to do it and swears them to secrecy.
It isn’t something unholy, ungodly and hateful because mummy and daddy do it.
As they get older, from age 7 and above show them condoms. Show them how it is worn. If they are boys but tell them in bits depending on their ages.
Tell them about safe sex because whether you like it or not, whether you think it’s not your portion or your portion, your children will experiment with sex, so guide them before they start.
Don’t tell them it is unholy like something you will never do but let them understand that when someone makes them uncomfortable with it, then it is wrong.
Don’t tell your children that only useless children engage in sex. Let them know their bodies are made up of hormones that will rage at certain ages. Teach them to recognise it and control it. Let them know they can learn to master it just as they can learn to control their anger and hunger and other body cravings because there are consequences to succumbing to these cravings.
Tell them sex is good but…are they ready for the consequences?
Lay it out without fear and trembling.
Shame if caught and expelled.
Unwanted pregnancies, so heck condoms!
Sexually transmitted diseases…
There are many unwanted pregnancies that may have been prevented if the kids involved had been told about prevention and abstinence.
Teach them the way a teacher in class will and encourage with non judgmental responses.
Let’s stop forming pastors and holy fathers and mothers in Israel to our children. We should be having serious sit downs with our children, telling them about the facts of life and sex in particular.
Someone asked me, “So after all these talks, will your children then come forward to tell you when they start having sex? “
Nope. No guarantees but you would have satisfied yourself that your covered the basics. This ensures that even if they will start early, they know how to navigate, especially if it’s something they don’t want to get into. And if they’ve already tested it, they can get help quickly.
Do not condemn them, if you want to win them over; to parents forming holiness, remember, Jesus didn’t condemn the adulterous woman, did He?
Copy Jesus.
The other option of course would be, if we choose not to talk about it with them…drop a condom on their beds and they will ask questions. Take it up from there.