Shey Eko ti baje?
Nigeria’s former capital city Lagos is missing on the list of 48 best cities in 2019 released on Monday. The list, an annual index published by Time Out, a global magazine in partnership with Tapestry Research, has only Cape Town as the only African city. To compile the list, Time Out asks 34, 000 city dwellers “about food, drink, culture, nightlife, community, neighbourhoods, overall happiness and other factors, such as their city’s beauty, affordability and convenience.” But were you really expecting Lagos to appear on the list? I mean, didn’t you experience the traffic today. Small rain and gutters become swimming pools. Like a friend said, Lagos traffic deserves a chieftaincy title. And that’s fact.
Odogwu Rochas in the fight of his life?
Imo State Governor, Rochas Okorocha, at the Government House, Owerri while addressing some youths who paid him a solidarity visit, has said the Independent National Electoral Commission lacked power to withhold his certificate of return as the senator-elect for the Imo West. He denied the allegation that INEC’s returning officer declared him winner of the senatorial election under duress, describing the allegation as an insult. He said: “The returning officer could not have done that under duress under the watchful eyes of the police, the DSS (the Department of State Services) and party agents. I am not unmindful of the facts that those who are fighting me from Abuja are anxious to see me removed as a senator. I urge INEC to do the right thing immediately by releasing my certificate.” LOL. Oga Rochas is as furious as someone who didn’t get his own plate of jollof rice at a party. That thing can pain ehn.
Touch not God’s (annoying) anointed
Spiritual Director of the Adoration Ministry Enugu Nigeria, AMEN, Rev. Fr. Ejike Mbaka has told politicians in the country to stay away from anything that concerns the spiritual affairs of his ministry. The fiery Catholic priest sounded the warning in his Wednesday weekly prayer in his prayer ground Umuchigbo-Nike Enugu. He said: “The gift I have is not sold in the market, neither do you get it anywhere in the world. So, when I prophesy you are not in a position to criticize the prophecy I give because it is from the oracle of the Holy Spirit.” On the Buhari-led administration, he said: “…The present hunger and famine in the land was not caused by Buhari but by the Jonathan administration. We should even thank God for giving us a type like Buhari who knows how to spend prudently.” God thank you for Buhari o, thank you for him having nothing worthwhile to show us after four years o, thank you for him putting his wife and Nigerian women in their rightful place o, thank you because Mbaka said we should thank you.
In Italy, no day for the thief
Police in Italy are unconcerned about the daring theft of a Flemish master’s painting – because they had replaced it with a fake a month ago. It all happened in the town of Castelnuovo Magra in Liguria, where the painting of the crucifixion is kept in a side alcove of the Santa Maria Maddalena church. The painting by Pieter Bruegel the Younger, worth millions, apparently vanished from a church on Wednesday. Hours later, Italian police revealed they had heard rumours of the planned heist – and installed cameras to catch the thieves in the act. The surveillance footage of the raid is now being carefully studied and investigators are chasing down those responsible. Chai, see better police with intelligence gathering. There’s a particular police force I want to beef, but I’m aware how intelligent they are when they want to pick you up.
The problem in a name
Beyonce has currently found herself wrapped up in a trademark battle over the name of her daughter Blue Ivy. Last year, wedding planner Veronica Morales reportedly asked the star to pay a whopping $10million in order to gain rights to use the name. Apparently, Veronica Morales has a trademark for the name, Blue Ivy. According to The Blast, she’s just gone and requested that Queen Bey hands over private communications between both her husband Jay-Z and her mother Tina Knowles, and provide a list of documents showing her plans to use the name, as well as evidence she wanted to trademark it. You see, rich people’s problems, something broke people like you and I (Oh please, we are all broke in Naija, how else do we avoid Evans and his disciples?) can’t wrap our head around.