Simple. I married my daughter’s ex because he is a good man and good men are scarce!
All the noise about marrying my daughter’s ex-boyfriend can continue.
I am happily married, today.
I repeat, I didn’t snatch my daughter’s boyfriend. Binta has never said I snatched her man.
Forget that talk of same man sleeping with daughter and mother, that is old story.
This is how all this rubbish talk began.
About two years ago, my daughter, Binta, came to me, telling me about this young man she met.
You know the way these young girls come about saying ha…this is the love of my life and all that. I was happy for her. Along the line, she introduced me to the young man. I liked him too and I was happy for my daughter. His name is Isaiah.
I told my husband about the two young lovers. Now, my husband then isn’t the father of my daughter, my daughter’s father died a long time ago when she was young, so I remarried.
I met him and liked him
Soon after, I met Isaiah, I informed Binta to take him to her father’s people and introduce him. She did but they said he was a Christian and their child would not marry a Christian.
Personally, I didn’t see anything wrong in their relationship, nobody will live with them, so why are they saying he must be a Muslim?
But they convinced Binta that she was the only child of their late brother and he would want her to marry a Muslim. What’s my business? She is an adult and not a child, I encouraged her to follow her heart.
She dumped Isaiah
I focused on my business and my life.
Then I developed cataracts.
From talking to people about it, I was directed to one private hospital.
It turned out to be the hospital where Isaiah worked. Ashey Isaiah is even a doctor.
From there we reconnected again.
I found out that Isaiah was a kind man, he not only help me with my eyes, but he was the doctor who made sure I got the right treatment. That’s how we became friendly.
I told Binta and she told me she didn’t want anything to do with Dr. again.
Even at that time, there was nothing between Isaiah and I. nothing. Just friendship.
Then he would come by my shop and we would talk and talk and talk…I saw he was a really good human being.
When I realised that I was feeling one-kind towards him, I asked Binta, so apart from the fact that he is a Christian, why did you leave this guy?”
She said, “Mummy, if you want to marry Isaiah, go ahead, I don’t like him anymore…”
Binta complained she was tired of him monitoring her movements. She said he was too possessive, he was always checking on her.
I told her, “Binta, these are good qualities. Did he ever beat you?“
“Did he withhold money from you?“
“So just checking on you. That is all?“
I still tried to get Binta to change her mind because, even though my feelings for Isaiah had begun to change and I saw he too was feeling the same way, I still had to be sure.
I told her, “Binta, it’s because he cares for you. In this day of kidnappings and all kinds of things, if a man checks where you are at and insists you go back home, it’s because he cares for you.”
But Binta was like, he is too possessive. He doesn’t like me talking to other men…this and that.
She rejected him, I accepted him
What’s my own? I said, ok. Just be careful. Binta is 24 years old. She lives with a friend in town and works in a bank, so she is old enough to take care of herself..
I told Isaiah I would talk to my daughter but he said he was no longer interested in her, that it is me he wants.
Even though I was still married, my husband didn’t care about me. I thought my daughter had missed out on a good man but I was not going to let him go.
A man who cares about his woman. He makes sure she is well-dressed when they go out and ensures she is safe. I didn’t have that kind of man. My husband at that time didn’t care, if I go from here to Kutiwenji, he won’t call to ask if I arrived safely, he won’t call to know if I am ok. All he wants is to collect money from me and never pay it back, so I used to lie to him that I don’t have any money. He would snatch my phone and look at the bank transactions. I he finds money there he would just slap me twai!
I had to devise another way of asking my customers to pay me because if he found out then, he would command me to send the money to him. He used to tell me he owned me and my money. And more so, he just married a new wife.
Asking for a divorce was something I didn’t think about twice.
I was just tired of a marriage that was nothing but pain.
I went to meet the Imam in our local mosque to find out what I needed to do.
Yes, I consulted with one or two more people who know how to go about this kind of thing in the right way of Islam. I eventually divorced my husband.
Then he began to spread rumours about me when he found out I had married Isaiah. He forgot his own story, having children with different women.
After several talks with some of our Alfas, they also saw there was no such thing as me taking my daughter’s boyfriend from here.
What I have with my new husband is love.
The story that I snatched my own daughter’s boyfriend is false!
I did not.
I am older than Isaiah by 16 years but look at the President of France. Is he not happily married to a woman who is so much older than him?
Who says I can’t be happier with a younger man?
We have made a home together, they had better start accepting it because there’s no going back!
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)
This mother is an “ashewo”. Even if she is free to ‘marry’ her daughter’s. Ex, is it expedient for her to do so? The good book says “all things are lawful, but not all things are expedient”. Another translation says “all things are lawful, but not all things are of good report”. What this ‘mother’ has done is NOT of food report.