Sis, please these stories you write, I need you to do one for me. I know you will do it in such a way that when the girl I am about to report sees it, she will get the gist without feeling offended plus I also think that there are guys like me out there who want to pass the same message across.
I have a girlfriend I intend to marry; I like big- arsed girls, you know me now, real Yoruba demon and ‘prouding’ myself at it. I told my girlfriend to come spend time with me stay with me for a few days last December.
When she came, I gave her some money to buy a few things.
The following morning, she discovered that tissue paper was finished, I said, me I hardly use tissue, water works well for me; I use water and soap, that’s why I have a toilet with bidet, you know the type that you can clean with?
I said, maybe girls like to use tissue, because you see, she would be the first girl I would have sleep over at my place. I have never been really keen on having babes sleep over but this one, I like a lot.
When we got jiggy, I wanted to do her from the back but when I opened her legs, sis, one foul smell hit me! Egba mi! se omo yi o kin tam ba ni? Doesn’t she tam ba?I mean, doesn’t she use water to wash when she finishes doing No. 2? Tissue alone never does the job especially when you have assets like hers.
I went flat immediately!
Ha, sis, this is no laughing matter, this is a ‘I do’ or I don’t matter.
I just jejely settled back to the bed and relaxed; then I entered the dilemma of how to tell her what turned me off.
The thing worried me for a long time, second day, no show, third day, when I heard her in the toilet, I said, ‘Babe, why don’t you try water and a little soap?’
I made it sound like a suggestion…come and see quarrel.
‘I don’t like using water, it dries me, soap should not be used down therw it alters the PH level., I only use water when I want to take a bath…’
Quickly, I said, ‘Babe, I was just kidding o.’
But because we were cooped together; I made another attempt…how long would I stomach this?
I promised myself that after Christmas, I would ‘encourage’ her to go stay with her aunty
I tried to do the do again from the back but as she opened up…I went flat again!
I know I am not the only guy having this problem; I am not saying my babe is a dirty girl, far from it but when she does No..2, she needs to squat and wash that place thoroughly with soap and water. I do the same, no shame in these thing.
Much as I wanted to invite her over to quarantine with me, I just couldn’t. How long will I abstain?
Ejoo, please help write this story, maybe she will read and do the needful because we can’t continue like this o. Save a brother here, sis. Save my soul!