She was not exactly my friend.
We moved in the same circles, have the same schoolmates, our kids, at one time, went to the same school and we lived within the same estate!
Yes, we lived in the same estate; we were not chummy, chummy friends, you know what I mean? But we saw one another at the mall, stopped to say hello, exchanged pleasantries, asked after one kid or another or our husbands…you know what I mean? I have been to her house say two or three times, when they invited us to birthday parties or things like that and likewise.
Like I said we weren’t friends, friends like that but we were not enemies either. I didn’t know she was seeing my husband!
I don’t know when the affair began and I would not have known again because like I said before; she wasn’t someone I would call my tight friend, so I wouldn’t have known about her kurukere moves.
I knew my husband was seeing another woman; men can’t hide these things for long but I didn’t know who it was. I thought maybe it was one of these university girls, these small, small girls that will not leave our men alone; but when I trailed my husband twice, I saw it wasn’t any of the small girls I thought…
Yes, I followed him, I checked his phone, too…how would he know? Forget that one, my sister, just forget that one!
Ok, after that, there was this particular lady my husband was staring at one evening, he later told me he worked with her at his former place when she was serving, years ago. He stopped to greet her one day we were coming from the mall. She too lived in the estate but I don’t know which house she lives in though I do see her doing her walks and exhibiting herself in tight suits.
So, I was suspecting may be she was the one my husband was chasing around. You know, she being a single lady, she goes about as if she is too much; like the rest of us are not her mate! I had told myself that if I ever found out that she was the one my husband was running around with, I would disgrace her in public anytime I caught her doing her nonsense jogging or meet her in the mall, anywhere, sef! All that shoulder she has been carrying around would be plucked out!
Thank God I didn’t go to fight an innocent girl o.
How did I now find out?
A friend of mine, who also lived in the estate came to tell me Betty had been sent packing from her husband’s house. Betty, that is the name of the old cow my husband had been seeing that I thought were other women!
I didn’t even know the fart was smelling on me.
When my friend said ‘Betty has been sent out of her husband’s house.’ I was like, some men sef, in this age, after three kids in their teenage years? What is wrong with the man, sef! What crime did she commit?
The husband found out she was pregnant and it wasn’t his own!
Apparently, the man had calculated the age of the pregnancy and realized he couldn’t have been the father! Wait for it!
Two days later,my husband called me into the room… ‘eehhn, I have a confession…’
I said, ‘confession ke? What happened? Who did you kill?’
‘Eeerr, what I have to say, I just want you to forgive him because it was a mistake…’
At the back of my mind, I was like, ‘ehen, he has been caught in his own trap!
I said, ‘what happened o, don’t kill me with suspense.’
‘Eehhn, Betty is pregnant for me…’
Tu fia kwa!
I said, huh? “Betty who? Betty Charles’ mother? The pregnancy she is carrying is your own? E wwoooooo!”
This one I am talking gently…hummm…I was shaking and cursing him, my husband, idiot man, foolish man, you want to sleep with woman you did not go and carry better girl, you went for Betty, ugly Betty!
No do, no do, o. he now later told me he is not even sure the pregnancy is his own!
I said, ‘God punish you!’ yesterday, you told me the pregnancy was yours, today you have changed mouth!
Anyway, the long and short of it is that WE are not accepting the baby. So, let Betty go and find out who the father of her baby is. She is not a small girl, she is a woman in her mid 40s, she is a bigz gal!
But e pain me for her sha! As per woman concern.
(Series written and edited by Peju Akande and based on true stories)