‘I thought we’ve moved from the era of Romeo and Juliet, this is the era of shine ya eye”
That’s the opening statement from my friend who first told me about the wife of Lagos state Oga, reported to have died after poisoning herself. I hadn’t read the story and so my friend told me to go to Gistlover blog.
If rumours milling around is anything to go by, then we really need to tell ourselves a few home truths. Women and men as well. Much as love is a beautiful thing between two people, its not worth killing yourself over, truly. Why die because your significant other choses to look elsewhere?
Let’s start with the (Department of State Services) DSS lady, Adetutu Adedokun. She was reported to have had an argument with her fiancé on the phone before jumping into the lagoon.
What did they argue about?
What did the fiancé say to make her leap to her death?
I’m sure it isn’t because he wanted her to wear a different wedding dress or the ring or to change the size of their wedding cake or even the venue of the wedding party.
Mundane things like that are no reason why a bride to be would leap to her death.
It’s got to be something bigger, something like, “I don’t want to marry you again…”
Something like, “Yes, I apologize for the WhatsApp message you saw in my phone but my feelings for this babe is real…”
Or my mother doesn’t really like you and I am the only son of my mother, so can we postpone the wedding…indefinitely…for now?”
It’s got to be something possibly status changing to make her leap to her death….you know, could be something she imagined she may never survive or be able to live with…
So she must have considered her options.
How do I face my family with this?
How do I tell my colleagues about this?
What happens to the wedding gown I have paid for?
What will my friends, my chief bridesmaids say when I tell them?
I imagine she must have selected aso ebi for her chief bridesmaids; they may even have been rehearsing the dance steps prepping for the D-day.
What happens to the cake ordered, the hall selected…how her family would face this (shame)… She couldn’t make sense of this and so she stopped the cab she was riding in and leapt into the ocean!
If you’ve seen her photo, viewed the video of the proposal, you will understand that lot has gone down. A DSS instructor, good looking for that matter, everything seemed set for her next phase in life.
This is a lady who had established some sort of reputation and that reputation was about to be dented. In her anguish, over whatever the matter was, she saw no way out but to leap to her death.
She didn’t focus on the fact that killing herself would shatter her family and friends. She was only seeing the pain and disappointment of her present circumstance…maybe she even had mental issues, who knows?
Then there’s this rumour about the suicide of this Lagos state boss man. She is reported to be the third wife of a philandering husband. A beautiful woman too, had just given birth to their baby in the UK. Gistlover, that blogger we love to hate, reported that her husband was entertaining his mistress in their home. So madam came back to Lagos unannounced.
Gistlover claimed that upon getting to the house, madam was barred from entering because she hadn’t told her husband she was returning home!
This is enough to knock anyone off! To be barred from your home because it confirms the rumours you heard in London, Oga has a house guest pretending to be madam.
Well, madam was reported to have gone to her friend’s house and taken poison.
It sounds crazy but maybe this is classic postpartum depression. She may have gone into depression after child birth as her baby is reported to be just two months old. This depression could be compounded upon hearing her husband was in bed with another woman in their home. As far as her mind could determine, there was betrayal too grave to forgive. There seemed to be no hope, otherwise, she could have got people to talk to the husband.
She may have tried on her own as I am sure she must have called him when she was barred from their home. Who knows what transpired?
What we read is that she killed herself. This is regardless of the fact that she has two young children who would be without the love and care of their mother.
We hear of people dying from being heart broken, people killing themselves when love fails them. We need to ask ourselves, is it worth it?
Some would say yes, a hurt so deep can make one irrational and thus suicide. So who profits from it?
The lover/partner who is the reason their partners killed themselves will continue to live with that side chick or cock their partners offed themselves for. And since those who died, weren’t murdered, who can stop the surviving partner form living their lives?
Sure, there may be a burden of guilt…but only for a while.
If indeed these two women died because they got disappointed by their partners, I honesty wish there was someone who could’ve helped them reconsider.
The cab driver in the case of the DSS lady could have been that rational voice. The friend in the Lagos state Oga’s wife, could have been a voice of reason if the signs had been visible. Many times people going though emotional issues just need the right words, environment to rescind their suicidal thoughts.
May the souls of the departed rest in peace.